Crone, the Witch, is the world's meanest and grumpiest witch.
Every day she went to... she would...
No, the Witch never actually got up to anything at all.
Well, apart from being grumpy.
Oh! I'm so bored! Even being grumpy isn't fun anymore.
Well, then why don't you get up to something?
Getting up to, getting up to... Getting up to things is the worst thing I know.
That was a lie. She would actually really like to get up to something.
The only problem was that she didn't know what.
Listen here, talking man.
What kind of boring stuff do people get up to, then?
Well, for example one could get a hobby.
One could try a sport.
And, of course, one could get a job.
A job? Jobs are for idiots and besides: I hate colleagues.
Then maybe you could start your own business instead and be your own boss.
Being my own boss? Starting my own business?
I am founding Crone, the Witch Inc.
Perfect!
♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪ ♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
♪ I'm the only one here ♪ ♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
♪ Please do not come in ♪ ♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
♪ Each cusomer gives me new pains ♪ ♪ They really don't give any gains ♪
♪ Business does not interest me ♪ ♪ Do not care, will not see ♪
♪ I hate when people call me up ♪ ♪ I just can't get them to shut up ♪
♪ They want my help with this or that ♪ ♪ Leave me be, or meet my bat ♪
♪ I want to be alone ♪ ♪ Happily a crone ♪
♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪ ♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
♪ I'm the only one here ♪ ♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
♪ Please do not come in ♪ ♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
This looks great.
Yes.
Well then. What does one do at Crone, the Witch Inc.?
Doing, doing... I do what I want, don't I? This is my business.
Why?
I mean... Do you sell things or do you repair broken things?
Or do you perform services and consultations?
Yeah. What do I do here?
What am I doing here? I...
I'm doing whatever I want!
Never mind that. I'm going to decorate the shop window now.
Oof. Woops.
There we go. That'll do.
A bike pedal. Why are you putting an old bike pedal in the window?
How am I supposed to know?
Anyway... When the witch was done decorating-
-she returned to the register to mope, as usual-
-hoping that she wouldn't get any customers.
Please, please, please, please, please-
-please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please...
Please, please, please...
No!
Not Tryggve, the Troll.
That's right. The first customer of the day-
-was none other than Tryggve, the Troubled Troll-
-who was not only Sweden's kindest fairy tale creature-
-but also an expert at causing trouble for himself.
Oh, I'm in trouble.
Idiot!
Good day. I saw that you had a rusty, old bike pedal in the shop window-
-and am wondering: Could it possibly be that you are a bike mechanic?
A bike mechanic? Absolutely not.
I see. Well, then one really wonders what you're doing here.
I mean, this is after all a store with a bike pedal-
-in the window but you can't repair a bike?
If there was one thing the Witch hated-
-it was being told what she could not do.
I can't repair a bike?
If anyone can repair a bike, it's me.
I'm the best in the world at repairing bikes.
Well that's great.
Then you are a bike mechanic after all. Why didn't you tell me that right away?
-Because it's a secret. -I see.
Well, then I'm just wondering if you could fix a leak in the front wheel?
I'll fix anything, as long as you get out of here.
You can pick up the bike this afternoon. Go on! Git!
-That's right. -That's right.
Fixing a hole in the front wheel. How hard could that be?
You just do this.
No, you're supposed to repair the hole, not make another one.
Who's the bike mechanic here?
As far as I know, that would be me. I know exactly what I'm doing.
So keep your comments to yourself, talking man.
-Okay... -Let's see here...
Hey, Talking Man, what does a bike mechanic actually do?
I mean, obviously I know but I just wanted to know if you didn't, as usual.
-Go on, tell me. -Okay.
A bike mechanic fixes everything wrong with a bike.
But the most common fix is for a leak-
-which means that there's a hole in the inner tube of the tire.
Once you find the hole in the tube you patch it with a special sticky patch.
It's a bit like a plaster for a bike, so to speak.
After that you just inflate the tire again and can bike away.
-Ring, ring. -Bah! That's ridiculously simple.
But hey, in this case I don't think fixing the inner tube is enough.
You'll probably need to replace the whole wheel.
The whole wheel, you say... Watch this:
A wheel, a wheel...
I have to find a wheel.
Well here comes the solution.
The Witch had spotted Ragnar, the Red Raging Rider-
-who was on his way to the sports field to participate in today's tournament.
Well if it isn't Crone, the Witch, out on a walk in the nice weather.
-It's nice to see you. -No, I strongly disagree.
It's not nice to meet you and I don't give a toss as to-
-whether the weather is nice or not. I'm taking your wheel now.
What? You can't just take my front wheel. I need this.
Need, need... Haven't you heard of unicycles?
But I can't ride a unicycle. I have a very poor sense of balance.
If I'm falling over all of the time I'll never make it there in time.
I really hate helping other people-
-but in this case I don't seem to have much of a choice.
Rider and bike be magicked away To a place of sports and play
The witch simply cast Ragnar, the Rider all the way to the sports field-
-and could then steal his front wheel in peace.
Ow! I'll be- I'm already there!
And ten minutes early, too. Good! That gives me time to warm up a little.
One and two. One and two. One and two.
Upon returning to the store, the Witch immediately got to work on mounting-
-Ragnar's wheel on Tryggve's bike.
That went really well, up until the test ride.
It turns out that Ragnar, the Rider's wheel was far too small-
-which made riding Tryggve, the Troll's bike simply impossible.
This drove the witch absolutely mad.
So mad that she decided to disappear every bike in the whole world.
Through powers of all dodecatemories
Of bikes remain only the memories
The sudden disappearance of all bikes caused chaos to erupt across town-
-and was, of course, Fairytale News' top story that day.
Welcome to Fairytale News. This is our top story tonight.
All bikes have disappeared. This is terrible!
Even my nice, red, triple-geared, low-step bike is gone.
The only thing remaining is this fluffy seat cover-
-which keeps my butt warm.
Over now to our reporter, Ellen, the Exasperating Elf.
Live from the hiding place of the suspected bike vanisher.
Ellen.
Thank you, Boris.
That's right, I am currently outside the premises of Crone, the Witch Inc.-
-where I suspect that the suspect is located.
And the suspect is none other than Crone, the Witch:
Infamous for being the grumpiest and meanest of witches.
We are just about to confront her with these allegations.
Come along.
Well, go on then!
What do you want? Go away!
Hello there, old witch! I'm here to ask you a few questions.
No, you cannot.
We're on vacation leave due to illness. Go away!
Are you responsible for the disappearance of every bike in the world?
Yes, yes I am.
Ow!
That serves you right for disappearing all of the bikes in the world!
And now to the big question: Why did you do it?
Well, I am a bike mechanic who hates fixing bikes.
Uh-huh.
Yep. With all of the bikes gone-
-there aren't any bikes left to fix, right?
But have you given a thought to all of the princes and princesses who-
-just want to take a bike ride...
-to see their grandmothers, for example?
No, I hadn't given them a single thought.
Then do give it a thought.
Alright. I'll give it a thought.
All of the bikes are gone! Now we'll have to
pretend-bike all of the way to Blackeberg!
Oh! What a pain!
Oh yes, pretend-biking is a real pain.
Fie! You really are wicked!
Thank you! That's nice of you to say.
But hey. What happens if you want to do something-
-evil involving a bike in the future. What then?
Something evil using a bike...
Are you throwing a party, with cake?
-Yeah! -I see! Then let me show you something.
I'm gonna show you a trick! Hold on.
[Laughs maniacally]
You're right.
With all of the bikes gone one can't ride a bike all over someone's cake.
-What a horrible thought! -Yeah, you see it now.
I must undo my spell and bring the bikes back, now!
There it is, dear viewers.
As you can tell, Crone, the Witch, is incapable of ceasing her evil-doing.
But at least we'll all have our bikes back.
Back to the studio.
Snake eggs, cauliflowers, and other shit
Bring the bikes back where they used to sit
After bringing all of the bikes back, the Witch realised that she still had-
-to fix Tryggve, the Troll's broken bike.
Uh-huh. How do I solve this now?
-Do you know what you could do? -No.
You could take bike to a real bike mechanic.
Bah! That's the dumbest thing I've heard. You always have the dumbest ideas.
-Do you know what I could do? -No.
I could take the bike to a real bike mechanic.
-Hm. What a great idea. -Thank you.
With the bike mechanic done fixing the bike, the Witch hurried back to the store.
She had just made it back when Tryggve, the Troll, showed up.
-What do you want? -I'm supposed to pick up my bike.
Oh right, yes. Yeah, it's right here.
I see! That's great. How much will it be?
You want money too? I just fixed your bike for you.
No, I mean: how much do I owe you?
Me? I'm getting paid? Oh, I see.
-Well, I'd have to say... 12,000 SEK. -12,000 SEK?
That's pricey!
Watch it, or it'll only get pricier.
Oh! I see. Well then...
-Pleasure. -No, I am not a pleasure.
I'm grumpy, angry, and mean and if you don't sod off-
-I'll have you turned into a one-legged frog. Now, get out!
-That's right. -That's right.
Ooo! It seems like Crone, the Witch Inc. is turning a profit!
Are you kidding?
I paid the bike mechanic 150 SEK.
Then I charged the Troll 12,000 SEK. That is 12,000 minus 150...
You count like this: 53 divided by the remainder of 4 times 56...
11,850.
Exactly, that's right. Overcharging is so much fun!
Does this mean that you'll continue working as a bike mechanic?
No, it's far too arduous.
I could never manage.
-Then what job are you taking up tomorrow? -Tomorrow I will do no work.
I'll be focusing on being rude to the customers.
After that I'm going to sulk behind the register.
I see. What will you do now?
I'm going to sulk behind the register now too.
What about you?
I'm gonna watch the credits.
That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
I would never watch something so silly. I'm keeping my eyes closed the whole time.
Captioned by: PuffyRainbowCloud 2024-05-01